One of the two charity shop dresses I got on Saturday.
The origami pleating is a fabulous and unusual touch – more corners than I’m used to, but am hoping it compliments my curves! Either way, there’s nothing like a wiggle dress and heels to make your strut down the street to the station!
Yup, today started really well, with a strut and a wiggle. And then Joe public got involved and this happened:
Does nobody have any manners these days? At the station a young girl was trying to get her bike off the train. She was really struggling , but TWO women pushed past her onto the train, I assume to ensure they got a seat. The rest went in at the next door along and pushed through behind her, leaving myself and another gentleman to help the now panicked girl off the train and jump on ourselves as the doors tried to close. And hey – I still got a seat! Next to one of the rude pushy women who’d forced past her. Well, she’d taken the first window seat – I wasn’t going to let her get the whole double to herself!
This wasn’t the only rudeness I encountered this evening. On the bus home a young man was playing misogynistic gangsta rap as loudly as he could AND singing along. After the 30th (or so) variation on the theme of what he was going to do to the first “shorty” he could get back to “da hood” that evening (sometime violent, sometime sexual, all pretty horrendous) I turned to face him. In the calmest, deepest, steadiest voice I could muster I said:
“I find your music offensive. Please turn it off.”
I suppose I’m lucky he didn’t punch me. He certainly looked the sort (talk about toxic assumptions…). Instead he leaned right across the aisle so that his face was right up close to mine, held my gaze and sang the words right at me. I held his glare for 30 (very long) seconds then tried to turn away.
He sang disgusting words right into my ear until we reached his stop and the bus emptied. No-one said a thing. No-one looked up. No-one offered any support. The whole, packed-out bus-load of people stared at their hands or looked out of the window for the entire journey, while this young man sang obscenities at the top of his tuneless voice. Where were my gentlemen knights? Where were my sisters-in-arms for the feminist cause?
(Probably forcing their way onto a train somewhere…)
Rudeness quite simply makes me cry. Out of frustration, disappointment and plain, simple hurt. It creates loneliness, “every man for himself”, destroys togetherness and community. I can’t remember the last time I felt as alone as I did on that bus, and I arrived home tonight yearning for someone to make me a cup of tea and comfort me. Rudeness makes me wonder what kind of a world we live in.
I wrote this post in pure anger on the train, sitting beside that horrible rude woman. I spent the whole journey to Banbury wondering whether I had the guts to face up to her, to refuse to move when we reached her stop so she’d have to force her way off as she’d forced her way on. Or whether it would be more effective to be extra-especially sickly sweetly polite, to say “Oh, I am so sorry – am I in your way?” as pointedly as I could. In the end I did nothing – I couldn’t face another confrontation. I did nothing but sit, fume, hold back tears and write so hard and fast that my arm ached. And she ended her day oblivious.
Frankly, it’s unfair.