Dressed for breast: smocked & shirred

It’s all about access, you see? Shirred tops are so easy to pull down, with no evil clasps or sharp pointy bits to catch a baby’s delicate skin – not to mention the delicate skin of Mummy’s breasts!

Blog1coral

Beach dress: Matalan (£6); Cardigan: South @ Very via Ebay (Very Clearance); leggings: Matalan; shoes: George @ Asda

Blog2coral

My life at present truly is about comfort and hard-wearing. I need to be able to scramble about over the baby gym, pull my top down one handed, crawl around the living room on my hands and knees and just step into my wellies if I’m venturing outside with a baby strapped to my front and a basket of washing on my hip. So, I’m largely living in smocked beach dresses with leggings and cardis.

One of my best buys, though, was definitely a little Wallis number I found on ebay. More on that in coming weeks…

Yup, I can see a whole lot of smocked and shirred in my immediate future! In fact, it’s a sewing skill I might need to learn to master!

LOVE Threadbanger!

New baby must-haves #1: the nursery*

*According to guidelines, a new baby should be sleeping in your room with you for the first six months, so really we’re talking about your bedroom here – or whichever room Mummy and Baby are cohabiting at this stage…

As a new mother we are inundated with ads for ”must-buy” items, many of which we will never use. Heck, there’s even an ad on TV just now which takes the p*ss out of first time mothers, saying that at least by the second try we’ve sussed out what we actually need:

Of course, there are two provisos to all my advice as given here. One is that I am coming at this from my own experience, and my experience is TWINS! A singleton might be an entirely different matter. The second, is that this is what worked for me personally, living in a one-bedroom, detached bungalow, with very minimal free space, no spare room, no neighbours to speak of, and nowhere out of earshot of my babies’ cries. Every new mother will have different ideas and experiences, and every new mother will find different equipment useful to her situation. I’m just telling you what worked for me!

Ok, so, in the nursery, my must-haves were:

A rug: I didn’t buy a rug, I didn’t know I would need one, and frankly when Uncle Ben turned up with one I laid it down on the wooden floorboards thinking that its only function was to pretty the place up! But if your bedroom floor is anything less than seriously plush, you’ll need something in place to cushion your feet – because you’re going to be doing some serious night-time pacing, jiggling and bouncing, I promise you! This has been a godsend!

Something stimulating above the cot – for baby: For us, having something to distract Twin 1 whilst we clean/change/feed Twin 2 is an absolute necessity. But we also find this distraction useful when both are in their cots and just kicking about. I made a cot mobile from felt, based on this free tutorial and pattern, but there are ample available to buy.

Ballons

Along the same vein, we bought a Chicco Musical “Goodnight Moon” night light for the cot, which plays Beethoven’s Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, which we switch on at bedtime. The boys have already started to make the association between the lights and music and sleep, making our lives much easier at night!

Something stimulating on the wall – for you! Not actually something we have in our nursery, but a brilliant idea I picked up from a contestant on Pointless! On reaching the final, this new mother chose Geography as her topic, because she had been studying a map of the world on her baby’s nursery wall every night for several months during nighttime winding sessions. What a great way to learn something new!

A mirror: For checking whether that limp baby over your shoulder is actually asleep. I recommend acryllic, for safety reasons, and because you can get hold of them in every shape and size to match the nursery decor, and stick them to the wall with adhesive pads – no need for DIY to hang the thing!

Changing mats (plural): I would recommend two changing stations, if remotely possible, one in the nursery, and one in another room. As a new mother you will be seriously sleep-deprived, and should be taking advantage of any trustworthy visitor who offers to watch baby whilst you catch 40 winks. Every precious “wink” counts here, so the more time you can spend in bed and not getting changing things together for the “babysitter”, the better! Also, great for those occasions that Daddy whisks baby out of the room to allow you to sleep longer – because I’m sure Dapper’s not the only one who’s thoughtful like that…

Room thermometer: This needn’t be fancy – our most oft-consulted is a cardboard number that came free with a pair of secondhand, pirate-themed gro bags purchased from ebay. I know you can also purchase them online for a couple of ££s (try The Lullaby Trust, formerly FSID) and some Health Visitors hand them out for free. We splashed out some of the vouchers various friends had given us on a monitor system with in-built thermometer, which we consulted for accuracy those first few precious weeks, but rarely any longer.Which brings me neatly onto…

Baby monitor: NOT a must for us, as it turns out. We went overboard on this, buying one with sensors to alert you if baby stops breathing, a common mistake made by parents whose babies have been in IC, and are used to the reassuring blip of heart rate monitors. (I heard that bloody blip in my sleep for weeks after we left the NNU behind us!) We only ever used it for two functions: 1) as a room thermometer (see above) and 2) as an alarm when I wanted to wake Dapper, sleeping on the sofa bed, to come and help me out! (We bought Angelcare, which has a “panic button” for this purpose). But as I said before, we have the luxury (?) of living in a teeny tiny bungalow in which there is no escape from the cries of our babies – so a traditional audio monitor really would have been wasted on us!

A V pillow: As well as a feeding must, this has been great for visiting small people who wanted to hold babies, and a must for propping up Mummy’s arms when babies have dozed off unexpectedly in the most surprising and usually uncomfortable of holds, and offered me a few precious snatched moments of peace! In fact, I usually ensure I’ve a variety of different shaped and sized cushions within grabbing distance, to shove under aching arms and legs to help me hold a positition whenever the need arises!

Blankets: cellular blankets, micro-fleeces, crocheted lap blankets, knitted shawls - these have all proven invaluable, for wrapping up baby, laying over otherwise unfriendly surfaces, providing padding for outfit changes and floor play, and draping over Mummy’s exposed bits too!

Stigma and motherhood

Bottled

Whilst feeding the twins, I often opt to watch some mindless TV to pass the time. This most often comes courtesy of daytime BBC1 or E4, the latter being a favourite for CharmedThe Big Bang Theory and Rules of Engagement (Dapper and Jeff share a rather alarming number of common ideologies). I’ve never really got into How I Met Your Mother, but it does occasionally tickle my funny bone, and one night last week I left it on.

There was a scene playing in which Ted was warning the rest of the gang about his date, who was about to show up and spin a tale about how they met, being as she was ashamed of having met online. This provoked a conversation about online dating, and whether there was a stigma still attached.

I think I can be a little naive when it comes to the stigma relating to my personal choices. I’m unashamed of having met Dapper online – why should it matter how I met someone who makes me so very happy? I’ve blogged at length about the importance of choice to my personal understanding of feminism, but I wasn’t aware that so many of my choices regarding motherhood would cause such a stir, even amongst my family and friends.

Take breastfeeding, for example. I read widely about the benefits of breastfeeding, and decided it was right for me. I wasn’t unrealistic about it – when people asked whilst pregnant about my plans (and they did – even the random elderly lady on the train!), I would answer that I hoped to breastfeed if possible. I know that some people are unable to do so, for medical reasons, and others choose not to. My choice to breastfeed is not a comment on anyone else’s choice either way. For me, it is practical – no sterilising bottles, no leaving one baby to scream whilst another feeds* – and economical, the cost of buying double the formula, unthinkable. I also believe wholeheartedly in the health benefits of breastfeeding. The data is, to my mind, unequivocal. But that doesn’t mean I believe those offering formula are failing their babies in any way. On the consultant’s advice, we top the boys up at bedtime with formula, to help their weight gain and allow my body the chance to recover from feeding two hungry babies all day, and on the health visitor’s advice, to give me the chance of more than 20 minutes’ continuous sleep. For me, this combination feeding is the optimum option for my lifestyle, beliefs, and babies’ needs.

Then there’s the choice I make to sling my babies around the house at present, with an eye to slinging when out and about in future. Again, this is about practicality as far as I’m concerned. There is seldom a moment in my life at present in which there is not a baby screaming. If one is sleeping peacefully, the other is usually in need of attention. Slinging allows me to get on with the bare necessities of life – eating, drinking, washing up, even nappy changes, without the guilt of leaving an unhappy baby screaming in their cot alone. As for slinging outside the home – if you’ve never tried to get a double buggy along a narrow pavement, through a shop door or along busy supermarket aisles, you’ve frankly no right to comment! ;) Suffice to say, it’s no easy feat!

And finally, there’s my aim towards using entirely reusable nappies and wipes**. I currently use a combination of reusables and disposables, as I do not have enough teenyfits to go around my two teeny boys, and for practical reasons – Daddy is still getting used to disposable nappy changes, never mind the added confusion of cloth nappies. But having weighed up my options, I know that reusables are going to save me money (yes, even factoring in the costs of washing) and help reduce our waste, something we have always cared about (reuse, recycle – buy secondhand!). They also mean that, as a non-driver who cannot just pop to the local shop in an emergency, I’m never going to run out – something I always have to factor into the equasion (and one I should have mentioned for breastfeeding too). And possibly most importantly of all… hello, they’re vintage! A cloth nappied bottom is seriously cute – and some of the nappy covers you can buy, incredibly funky! I already match the boys’ nappy covers/all-in-ones to their outfits, they’ll be matching mine before they know it!

*My Mum splashed out £85 on a twin-feeding pillow, and I cannot recommend it strongly enough. I could not have mastered twin-feeding without, and as I’m literally buckled in, it means on the occasions I have fallen asleep whilst feeding, accidentally smothering my boys has not been a fear – as it stops me slumping too far in any direction. It also means I can feed hands-free – allowing me time to read, surf the web and most importantly, EAT!

**Regarding reusable wipes, I bought some seriously expensive bamboo ones online, and a couple of packs of 5 for £1.99 microfibre cloths from Asda and Matalan. I personally find the dishcloths far, far softer and more absorbant. Worth bearing in mind…

The Boys: Week 12

Lets dance bro

Let’s dance, bro!

Cheeky chappies

Mate, I’m just too tired!

Another exciting week this week, as we suffered the trauma of our first trip out to the GP for our first set of jabs! Luckily, my boys are a tough pair: when falling asleep during breastfeeding, common advice is to flick a baby’s feet to wake them up. My two spent so long in the NNU having needles poked into their heels for blood tests, not to mention into hands and feet for drips, etc, flicking their feet has little, if any effect! They did cry when jabbed, but only for a couple of minutes, and I think more from shock than anything else. Mummy was probably more traumatised than either of them!

Duuude

Dude! It’s so not cool to smile!

HiyaBra, I just don’t care!

More good news about their weight, though, as they continue to grow at a healthy pace. They’re both being plotted on the full term baby charts now, with Harris at 7lbs 11 and Conall at 8lbs10. Conall is just starting to fit “newborn” sizes, Harris is still in “early baby” for now, but outgrowing babygros daily! We’ve been lucky to be given endless gorgeous items, both new and secondhand, so that half the time the boys can wear something different every day until they go into the next size up! My sister-in-law had a little boy on Monday (congratulations H & K – more cousins for the twins!) so am slowly bagging up clothing to pass on – although most will be too small, as he was born at the weight Harris was just 2 weeks ago!

Peepins

ExhaustedExhausted by the efforts of a day’s play

The Boys: Weeks 1 – 11

So, I thought I’d kick-start the weekly babies post with a round-up of the journey so far – running through the first 10 weeks in a photo or two a week, starting with…

WEEK 1:

A very good place to start! The boys were born on a Friday lunchtime the day after a routine scan. The consultant looking after my pregnancy had warned us that there was a chance I’d need to deliver early if Twin 1 (Harris) didn’t grown between the 32 and 34 week scans. Still, it was something of a shock to suddenly be told that, far from going into the office for handover the following day as planned, I’d be admitted that very evening!

Boys @ 1wk

This photo was taken a couple of days after the birth, when both boys were breathing relatively well alone. I came down to the ICU one day to find the lovely Nurse Emma had put the boys in together, as research has proven that twins develop far more effectively if allowed to spend time together in the same cot or box. Although things had gone well with Harris’ birth (better than expected, in fact, as he was considerably larger than the scans had suggested), Conall had gone into shock and shot up as far under my ribs and out of reach as he could, and so was without oxygen for longer than the team would have liked. So, whilst Daddy Dapper got the chance to hold a newborn Harris, Conall was whipped away and put on an oxygen mask immediately. In my drugged addled state I had failed to grasp the gravity of the situation, but Daddy tells me it was quite traumatic. Still, Conall was off the CPAP mask by the second day, and while he took a few days longer than Harris to come off the oxygen, he was faster out of the incubator in the long run. All’s well that ends well, eh?

3 days old Mummy's first cuddles

Kangaroo Cuddles

WEEK 2:

Boys @ 2wks

The boys in their cot.
Hats and cardis, knitted by my Grandma (their Great Grandma Short)

By this stage I was out of the maternity ward, dosed up on painkillers and spending every day back in the hospital with my boys. There were plenty of kangaroo cuddles – the boys tucked into mummy’s top, skin-to-skin, to stimulate my milk supply, build our bond and generally help with their development. Premature babies are often born before the sucking and swallowing reflexes are in place, and so, unable to breast feed, are fed through a tube. Having read voraciously whilst pregnant, I knew I wanted my boys to be breastfed, so was expressing every three hours (including through the night – it was great practice for night feeds later!) and taking my spoils into the hospital with me each morning to be refridgerated or frozen until needed. Breastfeeding – and even pumping – did not come easily as I imagined they would, and in fact might be described as one of the most frustrating challenges of my whole life, but I can be very stubborn when I set my mind to something, and really dug my heels in on this one. It was worth it for the simplicity now of just hooking the boys straight to the breast when they’re hungry – I’d be up all night if I had to sterilise bottles and mix formula every time one of them wanted feeding!

WEEK 3:

This was the week we finally began to see results with breastfeeding, and I was asked to “room in” with the boys – to sleep in our own room in the NNU, taking sole responsibility for their care, but within shouting distance of the nurses’ station should anything go wrong. After 48 sleepless hours we were rewarded on a freezing cold and very wet Thursday evening by being able to finally bring the boys home with us. Even being stuck in the Crufts traffic with screaming, hungry babies in the back seat couldn’t dampen my elation that night!

Boys @ 3wks

Padded kimonos by Vertbaudet – the only brand I found whose “tiny baby” sizes actually came up small enough for my tiny babies!

WEEKS 4 & 5:

That first fortnight at home was a haze of non-stop feeding and nappy changes, with little time between each for Mummy to get dressed, eat, or even go to the bathroom! In fairness, though, the last 5 weeks have been pretty much the same – we’ve just learned better to cope with the chaos!

Boys @ 4wks

I don’t think Dapper or I actually got dressed that first fortnight, or even put away the sofa bed. We got into a routine of 8 hour shifts, with Dapper waking me for each feed on his shift, excepting one for which the boys were given expressed milk fom my stash at the hospital. This actually worked quite well as the boys got used to combination feeding (breast and bottles) – it can be difficult to introduce a bottle to an exclusively breastfed baby later on.

WEEK 6:

Boys @ 6wks

This was a major milestone as the week the boys would have hit full term, meaning we could start treating them like normal newborn babies. Before this we’d had to follow the advice of the NNU in replicating the Special Care Unit: keeping them in a dimly lit cocoon, slowly lowering the temperature week by week from 24°C to 20°C – a lot warmer than the usual recommendation for baby’s room temperature – and away from visitors as far as possible. We’d only allowed grandparents in – not even my brothers had been allowed to visit. But suddenly they went from being premies to newborns, and things began to change. We started to bring them out of the bedroom in the mornings and invite family to come in for cuddles. There still were – and are – things that have to be done or measured differently because they were premature, but many of the early difficulties began to slip away.

Uncle Bobby

First cuddles with Uncle Bobby

WEEK 7:

As luck would have it, this was the first week Dapper had to go back to work. The week after I gave birth fell neatly into half term, and we had opted for him to postpone his paternity leave until the boys came home, dropping me off at the hospital before work each morning and joining me there after work each evening whilst they were in the NNU. The early Easter allowed for his 2 weeks’ paternity to then run into the Easter hols, giving him an entire month at home to help out. An absolute godsend!

Boys @ 7 weeks

Less fortunately, the day before his return to work was the day we discovered Harris had an inguinal hernia. A rushed visit to the walk-in centre resulted in an even more frantic trip to Heartlands A&E, where we were told not to worry, it would fix itself. It was a further two weeks before we saw the consultant for a routine check-up, where we were told it absolutely would not fix itself and would need surgery. We’re now awaiting a referral to Birmingham Children’s Hospital, and have to deal with poor Hal screaming in pain every time he passes wind, an hour or so after each feed.

Harris @ 7wks Hernia

First trip out – to A&E!

WEEK 8:

This was the week the boys had their first walk in the sunshine. Lots of research had led me to wanting a Cosatto twin pushchair, and a further stroke of luck had seen an old schoolfriend of mine, now a colleague of my Mum’s, wanting to sell hers in barely used condition. It’s such an easy steer and has a lovely bright “The Owl and the Pussy Cat” design, which I copied to make some matching pram toys back in January.

Pushchair 4

Harris @ 8wks4

Conall @ 8wks4

WEEK 9:

This week the boys really began to interact with one another and their surroundings.

Boys @ 9wks4

Wab

Ballons

Boys @ 9wks2

It was also the week the boys were seen rocking their first vintage look: flannelette nighties, so much easier for nightime nappy changes, and frankly adorable!

Boys @ 9wks vintage

Vintage Peep

WEEK 10:

Which brings us up to last week, an uneventful week but for the aforementioned trip to see the consultant and yet another hernia-induced trip to A&E, this time at the insistence of our GP, to Birmingham Children’s Hospital… And still no op! Frustrating…

Tiggers

Week 10.1

Week 10.3

WEEK 11:

And that brings us more-or-less up to date! The boys were 11 weeks last Friday, and are really beginning to smile and recognise one another this week. They tend to be awake for an hour or two of playtime each afternoon, as well as increasingly for our daily walk. And it won’t be long before they’re too big to share their day crib any longer!

Week 10.2

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20130508_190212

11wks cot

20130508_201418

As for me, I’m in a constant state of exhaustion, never knowing when I’ll next get the chance of a shower or a glass of water, and unable to recall the taste of hot tea, but loving every minute. This has been the greatest challenge of my life so far. Yet I have no doubt it will turn out to be be the most rewarding!

Peepins

And 4 months later…

I last posted in January – a long time for you all to wait, I know. Back then, I looked like this:

Feb 2nd 2013 001

I was planning on another update before the twins arrived, but we all know what happens to the best laid plans, right? Especially when two little boys decide to arrive six weeks ahead of schedule!

Boys @ 1wk

Harris William (3lb10) and Conall Lewis (5lb1)

There followed 3 weeks of spending 12 hours every day at the Neo Natal Unit at Birmingham Heartlands Hospital – a unit and team I cannot fault nor thank enough for their warmth, patience and understanding – and that was just with a very tearful Mum, never mind two teeny tiny babies! Those three weeks felt to be the longest of my life, yet somehow flew by in the same haze as the next seven – and suddenly it is May, and my boys are 10 weeks old and more or less the same size as proper babes should be!

Boys @ 9wks4

I will try to update again soon with more photos – at the very least a weekly photo of the boys, until I fit into more than one of my dresses again! But I cannot promise when normal scheduled programming will resume – life with twin boys is a long way from predictable to say the least!

One Dress

Conall rocking vintage!

November to January: what a difference two months makes!

The last time I blogged I looked like this:

WIW1.1 001WIW1.1 006

Wanna see what happened since then?

WIW1.1 015Before Christmas. Not too big, right?

But then I had a few weeks of not going into work, and so not taking outfit shots, until last Wednesday…

WIW1.1 036

Yikes!!

 Yes, I am starting to get especially heavy, and finding the commute one heck of a struggle. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be doing it, to be honest, and have brought my last working day forward to March 1st. I’ve gained over 3 stone already, and the next 8 weeks or so are just about fattening up the bairns, so I’m only going to get bigger and heavier! It’s already a ten minute job to get myself up off the sofa – I’m just waiting for the evening Dapper comes home to find me stuck between the cushions, crying over the fact I’ve not even been able to get myself a cup of tea all afternoon…

But having twins has forced us to make sure we’re ready especially early – we have the cot set up, and my hospital bags packed, plus more clothes than we’ll probably need (I went a little mad on ebay bundles) including several vintage flannel baby nightdresses with embroidered bibs, just like Dapper and I were dressed in when we were babies! I’m told the average twin mummy loses an additional 20 minutes each day just doing up poppers on babygros, and am determined to avoid this!

I’ve also been doing quite a lot of prep sewing – including a pile of bibs made quite literally from my bag of cotton fabric scraps and some of Dapper’s old shirts, and some baby teethers/toys for a little further down the line:

WIW1.1 032

WIW1.1 031

WIW1.1 040

Also, I’ve some flannel sheets to halve and hem into cot sheets (cot sheets are extortionate to purchase individually, in my opinion!), and a mobile to finish, once I lay hands on a suitable hanger for it – I’ll provide pics once it’s finished!

Oh, and before I go, I will also just mention that at my most recent scan the sonographer was able to confirm the genders… I woke up every day for the following week singing…

Two little boys had two little toys…